Dude, Seriously...

Alright, I really need to get on this. OK so I suck at time management anymore...too much to do, no time to get it done. Number 1 thing that suffers? Apparently blogging...

Since last we met, it's been rather busy, getting ready for vacation, finishing the TBDBITLetter, and doing Princess's therapy. All in all, I haven't lost my mind in a couple weeks, which is somewhat surprising. But really, there hasn't been reason to. Now that we kind of have an idea how to deal with Princess and her tantrums, and a better understanding of what it's all about instead of just thinking she's a spoiled brat and we're just bad parents, it's been a little better. OK, ALOT better.

I could say I'm mad, start blaming things like vaccines, Baby Einstein, early birth, tylenol during teething, or a billion other things that parents seem to cling to, but really, what does that accomplish? Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying people that do that are "bad parents" or anything. This diagnosis can be alot to deal with. Dreams for the future are dashed. In extreme cases, which, thankfully, we don't appear to be, children may require permanent care for the rest of their lives. But I don't see any good coming from playing the blame game.

I don't believe that anything "caused" my child to earn the label of "autistic." I don't believe we did anything wrong. I think that vaccination is an absolute necessity, and as much as a diagnosis of "autistic" can be a setback, a diagnosis of "small pox" or "polio" would be much worse. We just have a beautiful, exceptionally gifted child that thinks differently, and we need professional assistance in determining HOW she thinks, so that we, as her parents, can help her succeed on her terms.

I've always known that she functioned on her own terms. Every child is truly different, and in alot of ways, I think that has led to our society's rush to label children as "autistic," especially since ADHD is considered "on the spectrum," and so many children are labeled with that and immediately put on drugs. But so many of those children just lack the creative outlet in their day to get their energy focused.

I believe in arts and exercise in education. It is essential. Not everyone thinks in black and white, scientific/math terms. Some people are visual, needing to see concepts in practice. And so much of the arts is scientific, so why are these programs cut? As a musician, having that emotional output is necessary, be it listening to or creating music. I remember the 10th grade, when we played two movements of Johan de Meij's Lord of the Rings Symphony. We played "Gandalf" and "The Hobbits," and if you've never heard it, I suggest you download it from iTunes, because it is fabulous. But when we played "The Hobbits," there was so much emotion, I don't believe there was anyone in the entire band that didn't have goosebumps by the time we were done with the movement. That is the kind of emotional release music provides. Not to mention that musicians can channel nervous energy, the kind that makes you unable to sit still, through their playing.

If you watch a musician while they play, many of them rock back and forth, or "dance," or move their feet. When these programs are cut, leaving children only in traditional classrooms doing math problems or scientific theories, where does this energy go? They usually become restless and unable to focus. Students in music programs usually do better in school. Sure, this is not necessarily true of ALL students, but there's no way to make every child successful. Alot of a child's success comes from the home. If there was one fail-safe way to make EVERY child successful, there wouldn't be ongoing "school reform" and the Department of Education would be pretty bored. So why do we keep saying "this is the way" and wondering why there are still dropouts and failures?

It's time that parents become the best teachers. Teachers are invaluable resources, but parents are the first teachers that children have. So why should that stop when your child goes to school? I love learning and I look forward to learning all over again with Princess. I think if parents love learning and love school, so will our children, and then everyone is successful. You just need to figure out what motivates your child and exploit the hell out of it!