WARNING: This Post Contains Material Not Suited For All Audiences

So Sophia has been battling this bug for the last couple days, right? It kinda sorta started Monday night, when she displayed her green apple splatters for her dad. Of course, it was just one time, so no cause for alarm, right? Then Tuesday night, a night with Neena, she does it again, all up her back and onto her pants. But....it's just once so no big deal, right? I mean, she has been drinking absolutely nothing but milk lately, so maybe that's it? Tuesday night, in a preventative measure, I headed to Kroger to buy some Pedialyte and stuff to make soup, preparing for the worst.

Sure enough, Wednesday morning, the evil, foul-smelling, mess-creating bug reared it's ugly head to me for the first time. At first, I thought she just smelled bad. Once we got to the bathroom, though, I saw that I was dead wrong. BOY was I dead wrong! It was everywhere! So I did what I could to get the mess contained and salvage the underpants (which I successfully did, with no stains, thank you very much) and immediately put her in a pullup. Trust me when I say, potty training or not, this thing required a pullup.

So I go in to wash the dishes from breakfast. Mind you, the dishwasher is running so there is the distinct smell of machine and steam clean; I'm washing the breakfast dishes by hand so there's the smell of dawn; and I'm making bread and chili, so I had that smell going. All of this in the kitchen, where I was. Little, angelic Sophia was playing with her letter magnets by the front door. I smelled her before I saw it.....

So I figure, she's in a pullup, we'll just contain this the old "diaper way" and safely lay her on the floor to change this. That'll be way better then trying to do this in the bathroom, I mean, the pullup is hanging down to her knees, this was clearly a large load, right? WRONG WRONG WRONG. As soon as she sat down, it went EVERYWHERE. Great. Now I need to clean up the child, get yet another pair of pants for the day, AND scrub my carpet, which now has a nice large SHIT STAIN in the middle of the highest traffic area of the house. I'm really kicking myself for getting rid of that diaper genie, too, because it's f-ing cold outside and I now either take the nasty pullup directly to the dumpster, do not pass go, or leave it in the house for all to suffer it's wrath. This little exercise continues a couple more times throughout the day, but the appetite has yet to cease much and she's had a nap, SURELY she'll wake up much better tomorrow, right?

Thursday, breakfast is a war, even more so than usual. But she finally ate the whole waffle and even had some yogurt. No poop. She wanted pizza for lunch, one of her absolute favorites. I figure "she must be feeling ok....no poop and she wants pizza," so I make it, fully expecting her to scarf it down since she hasn't really eaten in a couple days. Not the case...maybe has 6 bites willingly, the rest is a battle. But still, no poop. REALLY cranky in the afternoon and finally crashes around 5 for about 2 hours....all good signs, I think, and still no poop. Make her 2nd favorite thing for dinner, nuggets and french fries. Not really eating....take a bath, eat some more, play like crazy. 10:00, still no poop. Clearly she's better, right? WRONG. There's the poop. On the bright side, though, it's more solid than liquid. Totally a good sign, right?

So off to bed we go. I hear her playing in her room until right around midnight, but this is not uncommon on days when Sophia naps, which is why we just don't do that anymore. Around 12:45 I head up to bed, and as most parents, think of checking on my child, because when they seem like devils, seeing then sleep reaffirms their angelic status. BUT....as soon as I get about halfway up the stairs, the odor knocks me down about 6 steps. Oh man, that is the unmistakable stench of messy, messy poop. Walk in the room, sure enough..... Now, all those stupid books and magazines say 2 things: (1) never let your child sleep on their stomach until they can and even then, don't use blankets, and (2) it's easier to change a sleeping child. Both of those things do not and have not ever applied to my child. If I could go back in time, I would bring her home from the hospital and lay her on her tummy with her head turned to the side under a mountain of blankets in her crib from day one...but I digress... When your child is a stomach sleeper, it is NOT easier to change her when she's asleep. Why? Because all she will do is roll back over. I highly suggest you have EVERYTHING NECESSARY in your hands and ready to go, or else you will have a gigantic mess. I learned that in infancy, so that wasn't a problem, however, she did remain sleeping pantsless. Even though she wouldn't allow me to put pants back on her, she did pull up all her covers to her nose and say "love you, see you tomorrow" very groggily....

So Friday...she gets up VERY early, comes into our room and demands her shows, and lays at the foot of the bed like a dog. Normal day in the Manley household. She must've either dozed off again, or was just quiet and silent as a mouse, because I was able to go back to sleep...then I kicked her. So, naturally, she's none too thrilled with Mommy, but I manage to coerce her up to the middle of the bed (I know, you're all jealous that I have only ONE TIME had to share my bed with my child because she refuses to lay there) and she ALMOST falls asleep before she decides it's time to play. No big deal. So we have our normal, daily breakfast battle, then head to the basement to "play computer." (LeapFrog, I love and loathe you) Day is progressing nicely, no poop, she is asking for food, which was not happening the day before. So after barely making it through her grilled cheese sandwich, it is very clearly nap time. She sleeps about 3 hours, something she hasn't done in months, many, many, many months (believe me, I'm still adjusting). Wakes up PLEASANT, which NEVER happens if she happens to actually take a nap (another reason why we just don't do them anymore), and is playing with wild abandon. Then she scarfs down dinner like she hasn't eaten in a year, chicken and rice and diced carrots. Nice....clearly she's better. Finishes her bath, plays more, watches Chicken Little....oh geez.

So she's leaning on the TV stand, legs spread wide, "uh-oh, what happened...you leaked." I mean, STENCH, people, no joke, STENCH. Gather all necessary supplies, and start to peel off the PJs, being careful to not let her touch it or sit down. Green sludge already running down her legs. Take the pullup off, I'll just stop at the green sludge.....that is now all over my carpet.... Use about half a pack of wipes to clean her off, because now I'm thinking "oh geez, she could get a UTI at any point with this much stuff going where it shouldn't," pondering, "should I just stick her back in the tub?" Of course, that would be insane, because it would be another hour til I got her back out. Get it all cleaned up and head, yet again in the freezing cold, to the dumpster. We watch a little more Chicken Little, play some Elmo games on SesameStreet.org, and head to bed, where she is currently snoozing away like a champ. So I ask, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BUG AND HOW THE F DID MY KID GET IT AND WHEN WILL IT GO AWAY???????"

State of the Union and Other Common Misconceptions....

Yeah, this isn't about any of that. But it got your attention, right? Today's topic: Leadership. You don't need to have the leadership title to be an effective leader, whatever that title may be in relation to whatever the situation is. NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT OBAMA. I don't do that anymore on the internet, because in this "non-partisan" America, we're more partisan than ever. I'm talking about LEADERSHIP.

The best leaders are born with it, it cannot be taught. Sometimes it needs to be nurtured and brought out of a person, but it's already present. They lead by doing; their actions and words guide and inspire others into motion. They are able to put their best effort forward and bring the best out of the people around them. This person is not always the person with the title.

I've had the title. It was awesome, it was fun, blah blah blah. I'm proud of what I accomplished with the title. I'm beyond proud of what I'm doing now, with no title whatsoever. So what kind are you? Do you lead by example and just live your life, or do you constantly dig and claw your way to the title, just to say that's who you are?

People Watching: The Best Part About Retail

So today, the 259 lost power. Once we got all the people out of the store, the fun truly began. Mind you, not only were we without power, our entire shopping center was out, and half of the mall. STILL people drive up, park, walk to the door, complete with sign that says "We are closed due to a loss of power. We will reopen once power is restored." Gawk in disbelief at the electric door NOT opening, and get pissed off. Now my question is, WHAT THE HELL does Dick's Sporting Goods have that you absolutely cannot live without during a power outage?! Needless to say, after we had exhausted our completable tasks, listened to Snoop Dogg and discussed his history on Evan's BlackBerry, we took videos of the people walking up to the door. And that, my friends, was the highlight of my day.

It's Super Late and I had Planned to Be in Bed BUT...

So ever since I was approached about being the new Editor of TBDBITLetter, my brain has been puking ideas, torturing me, leaving me in a paralyzing...ok, enough drama, you see my point. My question is, to all alumni, what do you WANT to see from your alumni newsletter? Clearly, stories about reunion will remain, along with gigs from Hyper Band, etc. I have some ideas cookin' (look for a brand new, recurring feature to start in the Spring Issue entitled "Time & Change" which will feature an alumni and a current band member discussing the same topic, how it affected them, and comparing TIME & CHANGE) and some feature stories, but what do YOU want to see?

Kids are Freaking Hilarious

So kids are freaking hilarious.....no, seriously! Sure, OTHER people's kids are annoying as hell, but YOUR kid is amazing. Sophia's latest kick: Beyonce. Yes, you read that right, my almost-four-year-old loves Beyonce. She sings Single Ladies like a champ, and truly, if you like it then you shoulda puta ring on it. Then there's her new found affinity for the Blackeyed Peas...I Gotta Feeling and Boom Boom Pow, which she calls "Gotta git dat." Again, she's not quite 4. This is amazing....I love my kid. Currently, she said "hey, let's listen to some tunes." That means "I want some background noise but I want it to be something I don't already know." So, following another friend's post about Prince, I turned on some Prince. I mean, who, other than my husband, doesn't freaking LOVE Prince, right? Well Sophia is having a dance recital with her fishy guys. LOVE THIS!!!!

....Cuz I'm Better Than YOU!

Alright, so once upon a time, this blog was called "I'm Trying To Find Myself." Then a whole bunch of political stuff (which I completely attribute to a crappy baseball season and nothing else going on), then I disappeared....for a real long time. So where did I go? Well, to be completely correct, I disappeared years ago. I disappeared because of boredom and a lack of faith in myself. Forget it...I'm not bored. I just finally figured out that I have stuff to say. So this new blog, which I intend to actually keep updating and regularly, is going to be about everything. Nothing. Anything. There is no greater meaning here, because let's face it...blogs are for us, not the world. No one is actually crazy enough to think people care....wait, what? People actually think there are people in the world that care to know every time they take a crap...huh, who knew?

But I digress.....

So what's up? Well, Sophia will be four soon (where does the time go??); I still work at the 259 but, even for as much bitching as we do, it's gotten SO much better; I'm the "advisor" of Chi Chapter now, which I love; and, as of Tuesday morning, I'm the brand new editor of the TBDBITLetter, the OSUMB Alumni Newsletter. I have alot on my plate, and I'm trying to just balance it all...I wish I was getting paid to do what I'm actually good at, but I guess getting paid to go into the 259 will have to do for now.

So today, I thought, "I'm gonna be using the computer WAY more now than I have been. I should move it to the dining room and make a home office." So I did....

What else...lemme see....what else....OH YEAH! I totally love cooking and I try to do it whenever I can! In 2010 alone, I have made: pulled pork, bacon wraps, "mac n cheese" that wasn't m&c, chili cheese dip (so those things....that was just Jan 1 GO BUCKEYES!!!!); cornish hens, sausage, spinach, and mushroom stuffing for said hen, homemade spaghetti sauce, stuffed shells.....and lots of other things. I really think that in the 20 days of this year so far, I have only not cooked maybe 3 times. Terribly exciting ;) Perhaps my love of food will cause my diet to backfire, but so far so good! Week-long body detox to commence Feb 1, then "healthy eating" all the time starts....stay tuned!!!!!