THE BEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well it's all over...51 weeks til vacation. All in all, it was a highly successful vacation, not interrupted by rain at all, save for a dark cloud that rolled in, looking threatening, around 4:30 on Friday. So that actually was perfect, since we needed to start dinner anyways. But let's start at the beginning....

Saturday morning, we loaded up the car and headed to Virginia, our halfway destination that is anything less than paradise. All things considered, it is what it is, and you deal with the bumps in the road. We were unsure how Princess would deal with the long car ride, but we hoped that movies and books would hopefully keep her occupied. Well, adults get bored on long car rides, you can't expect much more from a child with endless energy. Couple that with her not being able to figure out how to fall asleep in a booster seat, not a car seat, and frustrations boiled over. Luckily, though, there were few issues with Princess and her fear of public restrooms, as she just put her fingers in her ears and sang rather loudly every time. Since I, myself, had a fear of public restrooms until I was 18 years old and living in a share-potty dorm, thus forcing me to use them, I completely understand this little quirk of hers, but the fingers in the ear thing, we would later learn, was a new "scare tactic."

But finally, we arrived in Virginia. Arriving at 4:30 is not exactly ideal, as it is just close enough to dinner time to make staying in the room a necessity, but we were sure that after dinner, she would spend plenty of time in the swimming pool. So while everyone went to church, Princess and I stayed back and unpacked our clothes and ate dinner. (Thank goodness the hotel has a microfridge in every room!!) After dinner, I tried to get her to "suit up" and go swimming, but she was having nothing to do with it. She was also pretty tired. Since I wasn't really in the mood to take her to the pool entirely by myself, I didn't really push it, choosing to wait until everyone else returned. But once they did, she still didn't want to leave the room....Oh well, she's tired and burning off the pent up energy from the long car ride, so whatever.

Sunday came and it was off to THE BEACH!! This car ride, unlike the previous day's, was far worse, with frustrations bubbling WAY over. She was finally able to fall asleep, though it didn't last long. If I didn't entirely hate the new booster seat law before, I TOTALLY do now. If she didn't have that damn seat, she could've laid down, just like we always used to do on long car trips, but I digress....


Once we got to where we could see the ocean, the excitement mounted. "There she is! There's the ocean!!!" said Princess. Upon arriving at our house, she was in her bathing suit about 10 minutes in, and down on the beach with the boys, while Mommy and Grandma made beds and set up the house. I mean, hey...somebody has to do it. Last year, she went in the ocean with Daddy carrying her and them jumping into big waves together, so I told Daddy that if she was going in, he was taking her. At 45 pounds, I'm not holding her and jumping, I'm just not built for it!! She's almost half my size anyways!! (Not in weight, mind you, but height.) Once I finished setting us up and unpacking, I headed down to the beach, sand toys in hand, for some beach time before dinner. Fun times....but sans nap, Princess was in bed before 9:00 and asleep shortly after that. LET THE ADULT FUN BEGIN!!!!

Monday, the heat index was 105 degrees....HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. Needless to say, Princess didn't last much on the beach. Neither did many of us, for that matter, without many breaks. But Tuesday would be another story. Daddy had gone golfing in the morning with the boys, leaving me to be with Princess. I tried to get her to play in the sand, but she wasn't interested. I can't say that I blame her much, that sand is BLAZING hot, so she wanted to go swimming. Well the ocean was, thankfully, quite calm, so I decided I would take her. We lotioned up, got in our bathing suits, and headed to the beach. Unlike Daddy, I told her that I would not carry her. I told her that she is a big girl, not a baby, and if she really wanted to go down to the beach and go swimming, she needed to walk. She was apprehensive, and did not want to walk on the sand, a small concession I made, but we made it to the ocean.

As we stood on the shore, looking into the ocean, she started her attempt to climb up my leg, much like a squirrel up a tree, and I repeated again, "I'm not going to carry you, if you wanna swim, we'll go in together," and she started to walk in....THAT WAS ALL SHE WROTE. 2 hours later, after a wave crashed up her nose as she was sitting on her butt floating, she had had enough. The rest of the week continued on much like this. Princess would spend a couple hours swimming every day, effectively turning into a dolphin. (Coincidentally, we did not see any of those this year...)

All in all, she did great. She played with her uncles (TEBOOOOO) and posed for pictures. Though there was a few instances when she was terrified of certain people (we have no idea why, because at the beginning of the week she was fine) and adopted her fingers-in-the-ears-crying pose, but she had fun. We took a couple of walks on the beach, drank alot of adult beverages, and had some awesome food. So like I said...51 weeks til vacation. For now, it's back to "normal" and more fun....

It's That Time of the Year...

Yes, it's once again time for vacation. Where we all argue about what goes in who's car, and how much stuff goes in the truck because of the beer. Where we send ridiculous texts and say "what time is it in your car?" Ah yes, vacation....

We will be in a car for a very long time, driving southeast, until we at last see that ginormous bridge over the ocean, out to the island. I know, you're totally jealous, as well you should be. You won't be there, you won't know...



7 days of getting up whenever we, er Princess, wants. 7 days of sleeping in the sun on the beach all day, drinking adult beverages all night. 7 days of whatever we want. Last year, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon all died...this year? Who knows? Hopefully, though, my iPod can cover it. ;) So yes, it's time for vacation.

Dude, Seriously...

Alright, I really need to get on this. OK so I suck at time management anymore...too much to do, no time to get it done. Number 1 thing that suffers? Apparently blogging...

Since last we met, it's been rather busy, getting ready for vacation, finishing the TBDBITLetter, and doing Princess's therapy. All in all, I haven't lost my mind in a couple weeks, which is somewhat surprising. But really, there hasn't been reason to. Now that we kind of have an idea how to deal with Princess and her tantrums, and a better understanding of what it's all about instead of just thinking she's a spoiled brat and we're just bad parents, it's been a little better. OK, ALOT better.

I could say I'm mad, start blaming things like vaccines, Baby Einstein, early birth, tylenol during teething, or a billion other things that parents seem to cling to, but really, what does that accomplish? Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying people that do that are "bad parents" or anything. This diagnosis can be alot to deal with. Dreams for the future are dashed. In extreme cases, which, thankfully, we don't appear to be, children may require permanent care for the rest of their lives. But I don't see any good coming from playing the blame game.

I don't believe that anything "caused" my child to earn the label of "autistic." I don't believe we did anything wrong. I think that vaccination is an absolute necessity, and as much as a diagnosis of "autistic" can be a setback, a diagnosis of "small pox" or "polio" would be much worse. We just have a beautiful, exceptionally gifted child that thinks differently, and we need professional assistance in determining HOW she thinks, so that we, as her parents, can help her succeed on her terms.

I've always known that she functioned on her own terms. Every child is truly different, and in alot of ways, I think that has led to our society's rush to label children as "autistic," especially since ADHD is considered "on the spectrum," and so many children are labeled with that and immediately put on drugs. But so many of those children just lack the creative outlet in their day to get their energy focused.

I believe in arts and exercise in education. It is essential. Not everyone thinks in black and white, scientific/math terms. Some people are visual, needing to see concepts in practice. And so much of the arts is scientific, so why are these programs cut? As a musician, having that emotional output is necessary, be it listening to or creating music. I remember the 10th grade, when we played two movements of Johan de Meij's Lord of the Rings Symphony. We played "Gandalf" and "The Hobbits," and if you've never heard it, I suggest you download it from iTunes, because it is fabulous. But when we played "The Hobbits," there was so much emotion, I don't believe there was anyone in the entire band that didn't have goosebumps by the time we were done with the movement. That is the kind of emotional release music provides. Not to mention that musicians can channel nervous energy, the kind that makes you unable to sit still, through their playing.

If you watch a musician while they play, many of them rock back and forth, or "dance," or move their feet. When these programs are cut, leaving children only in traditional classrooms doing math problems or scientific theories, where does this energy go? They usually become restless and unable to focus. Students in music programs usually do better in school. Sure, this is not necessarily true of ALL students, but there's no way to make every child successful. Alot of a child's success comes from the home. If there was one fail-safe way to make EVERY child successful, there wouldn't be ongoing "school reform" and the Department of Education would be pretty bored. So why do we keep saying "this is the way" and wondering why there are still dropouts and failures?

It's time that parents become the best teachers. Teachers are invaluable resources, but parents are the first teachers that children have. So why should that stop when your child goes to school? I love learning and I look forward to learning all over again with Princess. I think if parents love learning and love school, so will our children, and then everyone is successful. You just need to figure out what motivates your child and exploit the hell out of it!

Coming to Terms...

"On the spectrum."

That's what the real nice doctor we waited a year and a half to get into said. I have to admit, I knew that would be the diagnosis. I've known for a while something was "off." But nothing can prepare you for actually hearing a trained professional say it, confirming what you already knew deep down to be true. It's certainly not the end of the world; there are far worse things to hear a doctor say about your 4 year old. Still, while it's somewhat comforting to have a diagnosis and a plan for the future, you can't help but fear for the future. The world is hard enough as it is, now you've got a label. There's nothing wrong with you, you're just not a carbon copy of the kid next to you. You process things differently, sometimes better, sometimes not; but the last thing a kid needs today is ammo for the other kids to have for taunting.

So here we are, with a summer full of therapy and doctor's appointments, hoping to get the loose wires connected, making her superior intelligence and her inferior communication skills on the same level. It will not be easy, because nothing with her has ever been easy, right down to the month-early, week-long (because of drugs to try and stop it) birth, but thankfully, we now have a plan.

I'm sorry, "spectrum," but you just effed with the wrong person. I will bring you down with force. You have come here to challenge us to be stronger, and I accept your challenge. You were not brought here by vaccines, or tylenol, or formula, or Baby Einstein, or any other "thing" that so many others desperately cling to. I will not be that person. Nothing is to blame, because things just happen, and I will not throw my energy into blame when my focus should squarely be on that of my child. You will not win, we will defeat you. So thanks for comin, but now, it's time for you to go.